Issendai Attempts FF7

No spoilers at all, since I didn't get far enough into the game to learn anything.

Voyage into FF7

I made the mistake of following up a luscious Valentine's Day dinner at Dali with HC with an evening of FF7. "It's the reason I bought a PlayStation," says HC. "Are the graphics regrettable?" says I. "Just remember that it was made a few years ago," says she.

Apparently, a few years ago video games were staffed with Lego people.

Little, overdramatic Lego people. You can even see the plastic joints. They shake a lot, which is how they express their little Lego emotions. They leap about like little Lego fleas. Jessie gets a little snap-on for Our Hero, the stolid and grunty Cloud, whom any little Lego gayboy would desire hotly. If the choice were limited to the people we've met so far.

Personally, I desire Jessie.

Apparently, the entire world is made up of one big-ass City Onna Stick, plus a few outlying towns that serve mainly to breed very, very young men to come in and work as rent-a-cops. As per tradition, there is no agriculture. Posit algae farms. Presumably the algae is sculpted into different forms in algae-molding factories, as Our Heroine is currently named Flower Girl; and lo, does she bear little Lego flowers.

We know they have alcohol, since Cloud has already imbibed heavily and we're not three scenes into the game. Where does it come from, though? Fermented algae? Can algae ferment? If so, where does the sugar come from? Maybe all the other cities that used to be in the world have been conquered and converted into sugarcane farms. In that case, we now know what those mysteriously addictive potions are made of: fermented algae and slave-grown sugar. It's a world order in a bottle!

Our Heroes are working to overthrow the current world order, but one assumes they're not going to be too radical. Messing with the Way of Things would mess with their potion supply, and you do NOT get between a man and his liquid diet.