Unicorn
Maiden
Yunikoon no Otome
(Still under extreme development; linked for your momentary
amusement. Do come back when the rest is up.)
Mukashi-mukashi, there was a maiden as pure as she was blond, a
unicorn as noble as he was snotty, a druid with anger management
issues, and an evil nasty who could control his temper just
fine. They all lived in the Unicorn Woods, which was almost
exactly like the Hundred Acre Woods except for an absence of owls,
the presence of a few dozen extra Violently Unshaven Men,
and the fact that the heffalumps were all fanged fire-breathers.
The Evil Nasty was tired of being the evillest nasty around, so
he bought a virgin to trap a unicorn to maim to leave as bait for
the maiden who was as pure as she was blond to catch as a sacrifice
to a demon who was even eviller and nastier than the Evil Nasty.
This was before the days of AOL, when the Evil Nasty couldn't just
surf to www.ratbastards.com and post an online ad. The maiden and
the unicorn objected and started chasing the Evil Nasty all around
the forest, which unfortunately was part of his plan. The druid
also objected, but not because he liked the maiden, you
know, because he really didn't care for her in the least, he just
wanted to save the forest, you got that? This was not part of the
Evil Nasty's plan, but he had stocked up on zombie minions at K-Mart's
last blue-light special, so he thought his plan was still on track.
Unfortunately, the druid had stocked up on snide and detached Nordic
ice-bitches at the K-Mart blue-light special before last, so the
Evil Nasty had to think up Another Plan.
It's all spoilers after this point, so highlight the blank space.
Before the Evil Nasty could finish doing his
reorg chart, though, the druid channeled an efreet, crisping the
Evil Nasty and himself in one go and thus dying honorably and nobly
for the love of the mai--forest. The maiden thought this
was very sad, since she had been such a bitch to the noble dead
druid, and the unicorn thought this was very sad because the maiden
thought it was very sad. So the unicorn sacrificed all of his healing
powers and his horn to resurrect the druid. The druid woke up and
said, "Thank you," though not in so many words, and the
maiden flung herself at him rather hard for a man who was just recently
rehydrated. So the maiden and the druid lived happily ever after,
and the ex-unicorn came to terms with his nurturing side after being
sold to a riding school, because he was, after all, just a horse
now, and he lived happily ever after, so long as you don't count
the rampant drinking problem. End spoilers.
This is the story of Unicorn Maiden.
Unicorn Maiden is a one-shot, six-chapter manga by Mizuno
Ryo and Aoki Kunio. It had no spin-offs of any kind and its author,
Mizuno Ryo, is better-known as the creator of the Lodoss series.
The manga was based on an out-of-print novel by Mizuno Ryo.
I will be posting translated scans of "Unicorn Maiden"
as I complete them. These scans are not meant to violate copyright
or to be a replacement for the actual manga.
Dramatis Personae
| The Plot, One More Time Through With
a Bit More Dignity
|