Phase I will
be complete when I can:
- Perform
Jedi mind control on small animals.
- Stand
on my hands against a wall for 10
minutes.
- Bench
125 pounds.
- Squat
150 pounds.
- Do
three pullups.
- Do the
kind of situp which involves sitting
on a reclining bench--easily.
- Run two
miles.
My training
plan consists of weightlifting every third
day, jogging every other day, and working my
abs two days in a row with the third day off.
I have a long and storied history of
overtraining, which is why I'm taking it easy
with everything except abs. Also, my left hip
has been giving me problems, so I'm not doing
lower-body strength training until I'm sure
it's healed. *sigh* Squats were my fave, too.
There's nothing quite like hefting 60 pounds
of metal onto a 45-pound bar to make you feel
macha.
Jedi masters
debate whether the stages of physical and
mental training and the stages of sartorial
training can be equated. As a mere beginner,
I do not presume to know better than my
superiors. Since they can't make up their
minds, I'll have to sit on the fence with
them. I will endeavor to look good in a
kimono and hakama by the end of Phase I, but
will not consider myself to have failed if I
have not attained this goal by the time I
have attained the other markers of Phase I;
nor shall I consider myself ready to proceed
to Phase II if I look good in gym clothes
before Phase I is over. If the sin of pride
threatens to overtake me, I shall engage in
shopping meditation in the juniors section of
Filene's until the temptation has passed.
Of course,
if I look good in clothes from the junior's
section of Filene's, I shall gloat my ass
off. But I shall gloat like a humble novice
of Phase I.
A serious bout of sewing meditation
is in order, too. I don't own a kimono and hakama.
