Fear the cuddling!

The American Family Association is horrified by Hilton Hotels’ latest ad:

In the June, 2016, issue of Travel and Leisure magazine, Hilton Worldwide shocked readers by placing a full-page ad that featured two men in bed together.

Travel and Leisure isn’t a gay-themed magazine sent directly to homosexual’s [sic] homes. It’s a widely distributed mainstream publication that can be found in many public places such as doctors’ or auto repair waiting rooms.

Daaamn, that must be one steamy photo if it’s fit only to be sent directly to gay people’s homes, presumably wrapped in brown paper to avoid shocking the delivery person. I mean, it shouldn’t even be shown in auto repair shops, places not known for the purity or delicacy of their tastes. What is this dangerously explicit masterpiece of gay titillation?

Okay, that’s pretty hot.

It’s not exactly post-coital, though, is it? Not even pre-coital. I mean, they’re cuddling and giggling and holding hands in a ridiculously adorable way, but they’re also sharing headphones. What are they doing? Listening to podcasts? Hearing the Arrogant Worms for the first time? Making a group call to their hilarious Aunt Kathy? One thing is clear: Whatever they’re doing, they’re not canoodling. It’s impossible to giggle at something over headphones and canoodle at the same time.

(They’re also wearing shirts. There’s a distinct limit to the level of canoodle one has reached when both parties are wearing shirts.)

If Hilton had advertised two men playing tennis, cards, or having lunch, that would have been reasonable. However, Hilton chose to make a cultural and social statement by purposely marketing the promotion of homosexuality to a large segment of the population who finds the idea of two men sleeping together unnatural and offensive.

Unfortunately, Hilton didn’t depict two men sleeping together. They depicted two men cuddling while listening to headphones together.

Try harder, Hilton.